Didn't Deserve to Die
by number1brawlfan
Summary: After Roy's death, Jason refuses to cope with it properly. He tries the only thing he thinks will work only for it to come back and torture him. A bit if a spoiler for Heroes in Crisis (only referencing to two of the deaths though)


**Something a little dark while I'm working on my other stuff. I wanted to do something with Roy and Jason and this came to mind. I also had two different endings, but went with the darker one first.**

* * *

Death was something that Jason was all too familiar with. His parents died. Damian died. Artemis and Bizzaro, two people he grew to love and care about, died. Heck, even Jason died. It was a concept that he wished wasn't so prevalent in his life, but unfortunately, it was. However, if there was one person that didn't deserve to be six feet under was the very person who's grave he dug up. Roy Harper. Arsenal. Jason's best friend.

It happened without warning and was dealt with promptly. By the time Jason heard about his passing, the funeral had already occurred. It infuriated him that no one told him about it. Granted, Dick's memory wasn't in a good state, so it wasn't like he could blame him. And since his shunning, it wasn't like Tim was able to contact him. But the least Oliver, the mentor and father figure of Roy's, could have done was contacted him.

Which was what brought him to this point. Jason thought he could handle it. Thought that given time, he would slowly begin to accept Roy's death. But instead of feeling that bitter acceptance, denial and anger refused to let him accept it. Roy was trying to get better. He was finally turning his life around, battling his alcoholic demons. It wasn't fair.

Once the coffin was uncovered, Jason pried it open and took Roy out of it. Roy barely changed since Jason last saw him. He was in a suit, something Jason knew Roy wasn't overly fond of wearing. Jason slung Roy over his shoulder and climbed out. And once Jason got his footing, he shifted Roy into his arms. There was a Lazarus Pit not too far from here, and Jason knew he could use it.

"This isn't right." A voice stated.

It didn't take much for Jason to realize who it was. Tim. Jason had hoped he could have avoided getting caught, but it seemed that fate wasn't on his side. And he knew Tim was here out of concern.

"No offense, but this doesn't concern you." Jason replied.

"Maybe," Tim acknowledged, "but you and I both know this isn't right. He wouldn't want this."

"He didn't deserve this."

"I know, but reviving him won't change what happened. It might not even properly bring him back."

Part of Jason understood where Jason was coming from. Besides his own personal experience, Jason knew that Tim had considered using it to revive his father, Stephanie, and Conner at one point. And while it was later revealed that the latter two weren't actually dead, Tim was giving Jason the same lecture he had received from Dick.

Once again, Jason had to admit that Tim's heart was in the right place. However, Jason had to try something. Anything to give him closure. He would be there for Roy through the initial confusion and struggle. That was a promise.

"I have to try." Jason sighed. "I appreciate your concern Tim, and I know there's a risk in doing this, but you have to let me do this."

Tim could tell that he wasn't going to get any further than that. And as much as he'd like to argue it further, he knew he had to let Jason do this. He had to give Jason some amount of trust in this, even if he disagreed. He also had to let Jason deal with whatever consequences may arise from it, while still trying to support him.

"Okay." Tim conceded. "Do what you feel like you need to do. I will keep this a secret for as long as I can." Tim looked back at the grave, knowing that it couldn't be left like this. "I'll handle this for you, but that's all I can do for you for now. This is your choice, which means you are responsible for the outcome. But know that if this goes wrong, I will gladly help you if you need anything."

It was a reasonable arrangement. Jason couldn't expect much else at the moment, knowing that Tim was doing the best he could do. He couldn't bring Tim down any further than he already had.

"Thank you." Jason accepted, leaving the scene.

* * *

Jason found the Lazarus Pit pretty quick. He was able to avoid the assassins there, thankful that Ra's wasn't there, and was drawn to its green glow. Jason carefully submerged Roy in the pool, letting him soak in it.

Time went slow as Jason waited for a result. When bubbles began to erupt, Jason knew that it was working. With a quick movement and a scream, Roy emerged from the waters alive.

Roy continued to scream in pain and shock as he crawled out of the Pit. It was a chaotic and loud reaction and needed to be dealt with. Jason had a feeling something like this would happen, but he couldn't let Roy stay in this state.

"Roy!" Jason called, grabbing Roy's arms. "It's okay. I'm here."

Roy looked at Jason, horrified and confused. It took a moment for him to recognize Jason, but when he did, there was a sense of relief. Roy's legs collapsed, falling into Jason's arms.

* * *

Jason's apartment became Roy's sanctuary. It was the only place Jason knew he would be safe and out of sight. It was also the only place Jason could think of where Roy would feel comfortable and the only place that would allow Jason time to think about how to go forward. Unfortunately, the resurrection recovery was providing issues for Roy.

Roy was in an almost zombielike state. His mental state dipped after Jason was able to get him to calm down. Roy didn't speak. He didn't emote. He didn't even smile. Roy had a hard time eating and was nothing more than a hollow shell.

Jason recognized all of these traits from his own resurrection. Though, they existed prior to his dip in the Lazarus Pit. This proves that it effected everyone differently. Jason wasn't too fond of it.

Roy was never left alone. Jason was always one foot, at most, away from him. In order to get Roy back to a normal and responsive state, he knew he had to stay close. With that came the responsibility of keeping Roy healthy. Jason always made sure that Roy was fed, got sleep, and was clean. With Roy's lack of motivation and mobility, Jason had to do this.

A week went by before there seemed to be any progress. Roy's speech took on small words and phrases. He did more things around the apartment and thankfully wasn't having any nightmares. However, his mind was still in a fog and he couldn't process what was going on. But Jason couldn't complain. It was still early in the revival.

Unfortunately, his venture to the Lazarus Pit caught up with Jason. Several armed assassins broke into the apartment, making room for their leader. Jason forced Roy into the bedroom, demanding that he stay inside until Jason gave him the all clear.

"I let you live your life as you pleased." Ra's stated, entering the apartment. "Let you get away with using the Lazarus Pit. And this is how you thank me."

"This doesn't concern you Ra's." Jason growled.

"But doesn't it? You used my Lazarus Pit to resurrect your friend, did you not?"

Jason glanced back at the bedroom. He knew where Ra's was going and he didn't like it. It was directed at Roy, not Jason. And as 'disheartened' as Ra's was with this betrayal of trust, he was really here to rectify what he thought was wrong.

"Leave him alone." Jason ordered.

"I cannot Jason." Ra's denied. "You violated my hospitality and for that you must be punished. And if you dare stand in my way, you will parish."

With a snap of his finger, the assassins attacked Jason. They attacked him as a group. They wanted to get the upper hand. Jason, on the other hand, held his ground. He would take them all down, or die trying.

Jason was able to hold his ground for a while, but he began to grow tired. The assassins noted it, beating Jason to the ground. They would stop with a prompt from Ra's. Jason looked at them, his breathing heavy. One assassin stepped towards Jason, drawing his sword to deliver the final blow.

"Jason!" A voice gasped.

A blade piercing something solid silenced the room. Opening his eyes, Jason saw exactly what happened. Roy stood in front of Jason with a blade piercing his chest. His eyes were wide, but he looked at Jason with concern.

Jason was mortified. Blood was staining Roy's shirt and the concerned horror on Roy's face was scarring. The wound wasn't going to be one he could easily recover from.

"No!" Jason gasped.

He was about to lung at the assassin as he removed the blade out of Roy. Not wanting to let him fall, Jason grabbed him. Ra's signaled for them to leave, their job done. They left the apartment in shambles.

A hand firmly geld onto Roy's chest, trying to stop the bleeding. A pained grunt escaped Roy, causing Jason to freeze. Jason's head was spinning.

"Why would you do that?" Jason weakly interrogated.

"They were going to kill you." Roy sighed.

It wasn't surprising that Roy would be selfless. He was an idiot, but a selfless idiot. The blood didn't seem to stop. Roy was going to need to get to a hospital. Jason glanced at the phone.

"Hold on." Jason ordered. "I'm going to you help."

Roy grabbed Jason's hands, stopping him. Jason looked back at Roy, who gave him a morbidly accepting expression. A cold aura covered Jason, giving him a sinking feeling.

"I'm not going to make it." Roy accepted.

"Yes you will." Jason argued. "You just need a hospital."

Roy shook his head. He was well aware of the situation and could feel himself slipping. There wasn't much that could be done and Roy knew it. His body began to shake, but he refused to let Jason go.

"I'm sorry Jaybird." Roy apologized. "I know you wanted this to work, but it's not. I'm sorry I've caused you such pain." A tear streaked down Roy's face. "I didn't want to leave you, but you need to know this isn't your fault." Through tears, Roy mustered the strength to smile. "I'll see you later Jaybird."

Roy went silent, his body going stiff. Life was drained from the apartment. Fingers closed Roy's eyes. Jason's stomach sank. Arms wrapped around Roy's upper body as Jason pulled him closer.

Despair twisted Jason's soul. He didn't want to believe what had just happened. But he blood on his hands and the growing coldness of Roy's body refused to let him deny it.

Roy was dead. Happiness and hope died in his arms. The light dimmed. Everything was gone. A hand gently rested on the side of Roy's face before a heartbroken scream shattered the silence.

* * *

The burnt remains of a warehouse shrouded a new grave. A marigold blooming on top of it. It was the best that Jason had to offer. As much as he loathed this place, it was too significant for him to not to use. Life ended there, but it also spawned a new page in Jason's life.

Jason knelt in front of it. He spent hours sitting there in silence, too traumatized to leave. He had gone dark, not communicating with anyone.

"Let me guess, you want to yell at me." Jason assumed. "Beat me. Whatever it will take to make you feel better."

"Of course not." Oliver refused, taking a seat beside him. "I just thought you could use a friend." Oliver shrugged his shoulders. "Plus, a little red birdie told me you might need someone to talk to."

There was a moment of silence between them. Oliver knew he shouldn't try to force anything out. Not just because he got a warning ahead of time, but because he knew Jason was grieving and he didn't want to say the wrong thing.

"He didn't deserve to die." Jason stated.

"I couldn't agree more." Oliver concurred. "He was too young and had a life ahead of him." Oliver leaned back. "I'm going to miss his smile. His eccentricity. How good of a friend he was. Especially when it came to you." Just thinking about it was a little depressing. "But it's those qualities that help me get through this."

Oliver pulled out several folded pieces of paper. He handed it to Jason, who took it with confused curiosity. Opening it, Jason realized it was a letter addressed to him.

"I found these a few days after his death." Oliver stated. "I think he meant to send them, but wasn't able to. I would have given them to you sooner, but I couldn't get in contact with you. I want you to have it."

Jason read the letter intently.

_Hey Jaybird,_

_ Therapy is going great. I'm getting so much better that I think you'd be proud. How are you? Everyone treating you well? Me and Wally are hanging out, getting to know each other better since we don't really remember much about Wally. Funky time loop and all._

_ Yo Jaybird,_

_ Have you heard from Kori recently? I dreamt that you, Kori and I went on an adventure where we had to kill a giant monkey demon. It almost ate us, but we stopped it with a giant bazooka fueled by Kori's energy beams. It reminded me of the good old days._

_ Hey Jaybird_

_ I want to come home. I miss being in my element. I miss you. I miss your morbid sense of humor. How you used to get riled up by my antics, but still put up with me. But more than anything, I miss your companionship. You're more than my best friend to me. You're my brother. I can't wait to come home._

"We believe that letter was the last one he wrote before he died." Oliver stated. "He wanted to see you. And as unfortunate as it is, I'm glad he got to see you one last time."

Jason was speechless. Roy was trying so hard to complete his rehab, but had a desire to talk to him. To keep in contact with him. Roy wanted to see him, and that gave Jason some perspective. Jason was still traumatized by Roy's death, and yet, in a morbidly fateful way, he felt comforted that he was able to grant Roy's wish.

Hands clenched the letters harder. Tears flooded his face, forcing Jason to expose his dread to someone. However, Oliver didn't care, not judging Jason for feeling grief for the loss of his best friend. For being human. Oliver wrapped an arm around Jason's shoulders, giving him the only comfort he knew how to.

* * *

**I probaby will do a version of this with a happier ending, but until then, I hope you enjoyed this little attempt at a darker fic.**


End file.
